Satire | Rihanna, No More Indian Shaadis For You. Stop Meddling!
Satire | Rihanna, No More Indian Shaadis For You. Stop Meddling!
Satire | Rihanna, No More Indian Shaadis For You. Stop Meddling!

“RiRi, may we recommend a masterclass in desi patriotism that traces all errors ever built in India back again to Nehru?”

(Disclaimer: this can be a work of satire.)

Rihanna did the unthinkable. She had the temerity to provoke

‘shine such as for instance a diamond’ ‘bharatiya ratna’, winner of three awards that are national Bollywood Queen — Kangana Ranaut. How dare the singer tweet her help for farmers’ protests!

RiRi had been built to be sorry straight away. Ms Ranaut shut her down such as the online in Delhi NCR throughout the clashes that are police-farmer. Although not before offering Rihanna a collision program on democracy by trivialising individual liberties issues and dismissing dissenting voices as ‘Chinese agents’.

Just Ms Ranaut has endowed on by by herself the honour of sitting on a horse that is high dismissing the agitating farmers as ‘terrorists’, dying to divide Asia like pizza slices.

She gets to determine how they have been designed to experience guidelines that provide more agency to corporates than farmers. Most likely, agitating voices are simply ‘wild thoughts!’

Twitter Responds as Rihanna Tweets About Farmers Protest

Rihanna, You’re Asking The Incorrect Qs. Here’s What you should about be Tweeting

But Rihanna must not for a moment think she’s free to tweet about Asia from her high horse.

Considering that the woman continues to be at nighttime about do’s and don'ts, right here’s a listing she should stay away from:

  • The protestors whom passed away on Delhi edges.
  • The town Asia has generated 4.5kms inside Indian territory.
  • A comedian, Munawar Faruqui, that is languishing in prison for bull crap he never cracked.
  • Pinjra Tod activist, Natasha Narwal, who can continue steadily to stay in prison for public violence she did not incite.
  • And thus a number of other individual liberties activists and social employees.

Here’s exactly just exactly what Rihanna should tweet about. Exactly why are Indians rushing down to Maldives rather than Barbados for Instagrammable holiday photos? Why did Jahangir provide East India the license to trade in Asia? Melody itnee chocolatey kyon baani?

Yet this ‘not a Padma Shri awardee’ thought we would shed tears that are crocodile terrorists parked at Singhu edge like obsolete sarkari Ambassador vehicles and awaiting Asia to colonise us.

Dekho Rihanna, it really is apparent that too quarantining that is much fogged up the human brain.

May we recommend ‘work work work’ or a masterclass in desi patriotism that traces all errors manufactured in India’s geography and history to Nehru?

Or we're able to allow you to stay for Kamdhenu Gau-vigyan Prachar Prasar Pareeksha to check out silver within the milk

desi cows squirt, while whispering nothings that are sweet their ear.

It is pretty evident you might be woefully unaware which our federal federal government may be the most sensible thing to own occurred to Bharat since Lord Rama.

Kangana Called Out for Calling Farmers 'Terrorists' & Rihanna Fool

Dear RiRi, Just Exactly What Have You Done? Now Also Mia Khalifa’s Standing With Your Farmers!

Rihanna, you have got already done us damage that is much gotten the whole world to share one thing aside from Trump and Biden. Sidetracked Greta Thunberg from melting polar caps, shrinking woodlands and searching angrily at globe leaders.

Now bad Kangana would be compelled to provide a thumbs right down fast essay writer to Thunberg. Ask her to exert effort on her anger administration issue. View good old fashioned movie like ‘Shakalaka Boom Boom’ with a pal and chill.

Dear RiRi, your time and efforts to destabilise Asia from your own mansion in London will force us to snatch your ‘umbrella ella ella, eh eh’ away away from you. Forget about dancing at Indian weddings for you personally. Particularly the big ones that are fat Asia. You have ‘hit your toe with your own personal hammer’.

Although we carry on

efforts to discredit you, we humbly help you to please get back your meddling international hand and why don't we criminalise protests, take down college pupils, incarcerate stand-up comics and upright reporters, in comfort.

You will get within our method of letting lapdogs grow.

Hai Ram, look everything you’ve done! Now it is Mia Khalifa standing with your farmers!

Take a seat, you trick. Kangana will be at Mia’s home to phone her a ‘chudail’. With no card that is aadhaar you, Mia.

(an instructor not too sometime ago, Purba Ray took to composing for a whim after making her work. She's got an impression on almost every thing, fiction or fact, beginnings or ends, light or heavy, long or quick. She tweets at @Purba_Ray. This can be a blog that is personal the views expressed would be the author’s own. The Quint neither endorses nor accounts for them.)

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